The Childless Mother’s Day

childless

You know her.

She is a daughter, sister, wife, friend, aunt, co-worker.

She is a mother.

Without her child.

I remember it well.  It was my friend, Noelle’s first Mother’s Day since burying her child.  I couldn’t imagine the emotions she was feeling and I didn’t know what to say or do.  I felt her pain and couldn’t quite begin to fathom how to let her know how much I wanted to take that pain away.

Her daughter, Finley, was born at 39 weeks weighing 7 lbs 8 oz.  Noelle had had a wonderful pregnancy with no concerns.  It was supposed to be a routine delivery.  It was supposed to be easy.  It was anything but.  Finley was born with little to no brain activity due to an emergency C-section gone wrong.  It took too long.  It was too late.  That sweet baby girl never opened her own eyes.

She has, however, opened the eyes of so many others.

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From top left: Noelle being admitted into the hospital at 39 weeks, loving on sweet Finley in the NICU, Finley’s gravestone.

Nearly 1 in 4 pregnancies end in loss.  Nearly 1 in 4 women stand with empty arms on Mother’s Day.

In an effort to support other moms who had gone through and will go through this unimaginable tragedy, Noelle started a non-profit called The Finley Project shortly after Finley’s death.  Her mission is to take care of grieving moms after infant loss through a 7-Part Holistic Program that exists in order for moms to know there is someone supporting them in the gap between the hospital and the home. The Finley Project will walk with a mom through the horrific trauma of losing a child not just right after, but in the days, months and years ahead.

I think of Finley daily.  Not only did she make my friend an unbelievable mom, but she continues to make me into a better, more appreciative mom each and every day.  She was precious.  Life is precious.

finley

Happy Mother’s Day to all; those with children in our arms and those with children in our hearts.

We are all amazing.

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For more information on how to support mothers of infant loss please visit  The Finley Project to help a mother in need.


 

One Response to The Childless Mother’s Day

  1. elizabeth warren June 17, 2016 at 2:34 pm #

    Lane, I realized that I never commented on how this moved me. Love that you wrote it. Elizabeth

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