How many times a day do you think of your mom? One? Ten? A million?
How many times a week do you talk to her? A few? Not at all?
Does she offer you advice on raising your kids? Drive you crazy telling you that you folded your hand towels wrong? Is she there to babysit when you and your husband need a night out…or even just an afternoon to go shopping?
I think about my mom a million times a day, but I never get to talk to her.
When I was in college my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. She fought a hard fight filled with chemo and surgery and infections. Mary Elizabeth Anne Quint DeSimone the First (as she liked to call herself) was a STRONG woman. Up until the very end she thought that she was going back to work.
Every year on the anniversary of her passing I have a Dark Day. I try to take a day to myself to remember her, but even taking a day to myself without my mom being around is hard to do.
In 2009 when she passed away, my oldest had just turned one. While he spent a lot of time with his Granny, he was just too small to really remember her. The other kids will never know anything except her for the memories and stories that I share. We have pictures around the house and we talk about her all of the time, but it just isn’t the same. Nothing beats a Granny hug and I’ll fight anyone who disagrees.
My kids will not have their Granny to spoil them the way only a grandma can. (Their Grandpa and Sandy do a good job at that though!) Granny is not at their theatre performances and dance recitals. She isn’t there to bake Christmas cookies and volunteer at their school. When their friends go spend the weekend with their grandparents, they just spend more time with my husband and me.
Being a mom without a mom is hard.
It is absolutely the hardest thing that I have ever done in my life…and I do it every day. I actually thought that it would get easier the older that I got, but I actually think that it gets harder. I have more questions.
Who do I lean on when my son is having trouble in school? My mom was a teacher who dealt with IEPs daily. I need her guidance.
How do I act at this event or that? I’ve never been through it and don’t know how. I could brag on Facebook about how smart all of my kids are or on their latest achievements, but then I become “that person.” I want to brag to my mom because she won’t get upset by it or make me feel bad. SHE would be the one blasting it all over Facebook.
My mom was taken from me before I could absorb everything she had to offer and I NEED HER.
She is missing from holiday celebrations and I have taken on her role without even realizing. Apparently my mom always brought a ham to big family meals, and guess what I brought to Christmas dinner…that same beer baked ham. I don’t think I got it right though. She wasn’t there to ask.
Yes, I have aunts and friends and grandparents. In July I will even have a step-mom. It’s just not the same as MY MOM. No one can ever replace your mother.
Thank your mother…
Right now. Call her. Text her. Walk over to her house. You make sure and thank her for being there for you.