I’m a planner.
Not like the write-things-down kind of planner, but I have to plan everything out.
When I got pregnant I thought “You know what? For once I’m going to attempt to go with the flow.” Do you know how hard that is?! My husband and I had decided not to find out the gender before we even got pregnant. I honestly didn’t think we would stick to it, but we did. To me that was the ultimate “non-planning” move I could have made. You can say I even shocked those who were closest to me when I told them that we were waiting to find out the gender. (By the way, best decision we decided to make in case you’re wondering.) All throughout my pregnancy I had been asked if I had a birth plan. Friends, coworkers, doctors, everyone wanted to know what was my plan. I didn’t have one and I didn’t want one.
I read A LOT during my pregnancy. I was your typical first-time mom reading everything I could, every book, every article, every website I could find. Of course I knew the majority of it was all based on someone else’s experience, but I was determined to be as knowledgeable as possible going into this birth. I would ask every woman I knew who had a baby all kinds of questions. I’m sure I drove a few people crazy during my pregnancy and I was okay with that. Every doctors visit would end with”Do you have any questions?” God bless my doctors heart because my response would be “No, oh wait, yes I do have a question…” followed by at least five questions. 🙂
Around my 36 or 37th week checkup, the subject of my birth plan came up again. The doctor mentioned it to my husband and me, and said we could find some sample ones online. I thanked her and said we wouldn’t be having a birth plan. My only “plan” was to go into labor naturally without having to be induced if possible, and to have a safe delivery to get our baby here. My plan sounded so good in my head. Then my 39th week of pregnancy came and just as a precaution with Thanksgiving coming up they wanted to schedule my induction for 41 weeks, in case I didn’t go into labor before then. That was just a small portion of the beginning of my panicking.
My non birth plan wasn’t going as planned already!
I didn’t even think that was possible. I purposely didn’t have a plan. Wasn’t the reason behind my non-planning was so that I wouldn’t panic? What was happening?! From there I felt like I was taught a big lesson. Life will play out the way it wants to. My contractions started on their own but I ended up having to be induced anyway. After two hours of pushing, the baby was stuck. The next 20 minutes was something out of a movie. I was prepped for an emergency c-section and less than 20 minutes after surgery started our daughter, Bellatrix Minerva was born. There was so much more that happened after the surgery that also was in my “non birth plan”, but at the end of it all it was all worth it.
It’s been a little over a month since she was born and it’s been the best, craziest and most fulfilling month of my life. To all my moms out there with a plan, without a plan or still deciding on which direction to go with: YOU. ARE. AMAZING. No matter what happens, which path you choose, you remember that the ultimate goal is get that baby into this world.