I lived the first 34 years of my life in New Orleans, where my parents and their parents and their parents (and so on) lived their entire lives. I had no intention whatsoever of living anywhere else until I met my future husband on a vacation. He lived in Orlando. And so I moved to be with him. I was happy in love, but lonely for my girlfriends. It is not easy to make friends as an adult in a new city. My wise friends from home all told me that I would make true friends in Orlando when I had children, because the parents of my childrens’ friends would become my friends. And they were mostly right.
My children are girls. Girl twins. Girls are fickle. They make friends, and I in turn become friends with their friends’ moms. And then their friendships ebb and flow and they become friends with other girls. But I still like the moms of their old friends, you know, the girls that they no longer sit with at lunch, or text, or have over on the weekends. Some of my mom friendships have been strong enough to withstand the breakup of our daughters. Others have not, and I’ve lost a few friends to girl drama.
For that reason, I try not to tie my mom friendships to my daughters’ friendships. Maybe that’s why many of my best mom friends are boy moms. I can be friends with boy moms without worrying about girl drama coming between us.
Moms of littles, you may be reading this wondering what is in store for you. I remember when my girls were small, we socialized with my friends and their children. But as my girls got older and made friends in school, they wanted to do things with their own friends. Around first grade our social lives stopped revolving around my friendships started revolving around theirs.
My girls are in 7th grade now, and I am happy to say that I have a wide circle of mom friends. And for the most part, while my best mom friendships began with our daughters, they don’t depend on our children’s friendships. If I could offer one bit of advice it would be this: don’t engage in mama drama. Befriend the moms you feel a connection without regard to your child’s friendships. Friends will circle in and out of your child’s life, but mom friendships are worth their weight in gold!